Our Family--and the Cost of Children (June 2, 2006)

December 1976

Spring 1983

1985

1999

     You might think we planned having two girls and two boys close together when we were young, but it was just luck.  David and I married while we were both still in college.  We struggled to make ends meet like most other young couples, but David always said, “Money is not a consideration when it comes to having children; we’ll manage.” And we did.

     Our oldest daughter, Kelly, started life with us in our one-bedroom apartment on Clayton Street in San Francisco, just one block from USF where we both attended college.  David had gotten a job working as a clerk in the law offices at Southern Pacific Company shortly after we married, and he continued school in the evenings.  I was in my senior year of nursing and, when Kelly arrived at the beginning of my last semester, I started a new career as a mother, and David was now a dad.  After graduation, we bought our first house on Willard North in San Francisco, one block north of Golden Gate Park, and I got my first night nursing job at French Hospital on Geary Blvd.

     When Kelly was two, brother William David III and Mr. Muggs (our first dog) joined the family.  When William was two, brother Thomas Dean was born.  Kelly and William shared our one bedroom, so Thomas joined us in the front half of the living room that we used as our bedroom.  By then David had changed jobs; he was working at Juvenile Hall in San Francisco and had just finished getting his master’s degree at San Francisco State College (later University).  He accepted an offer to work on his Ph.D. at UC Davis, so our family of five and the dog moved into a wonderful three-bedroom home at 2243 Whittier Drive in Davis.

     When Tom was two and three-quarters, sister Katie arrived in December 1971.  Our perfect family was complete, with the exception of the subsequent addition of another dog and various cats, rats, mice, hamsters, fish, frogs, turtles and birds over the years.

     Kelly and William were very close growing up.  Tom and Kate were best pals.  Don’t get me wrong; they did have their fair share of squabbles, like most brothers and sisters do. But when challenged by outsiders, they always stood up for one another.  None of our wonderful children ever got into drugs or alcohol, even though they were surrounded by those influences throughout their growing years.  They all have strong personalities and good principles, and chose to be true to themselves.

     Our perfect family has now grown with the addition of two wonderful daughters-in-law, Alayne and Claudia, and a wonderful son-in-law, Stephen.  We now have four wonderful grandchildren and two step-grandchildren, three boys and three girls.  We are also blessed to have two wonderful grand-dogs, a grand-cat and a grand-fish, as well as two cats of our own, multiple fish, frogs and turtles.

     How lucky we have been.  Whatever monetary costs we encountered along the way could never compare to the joys of parent- and grandparenthood.

THE COST OF KIDS THESE DAYS: 

(from the Internet-modified)

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 as $160,140.00 for a middle income family.  Talk about sticker shock! That doesn’t include college tuition.  But that isn’t so bad if you break it down.  It translates into a mere $24.24 cents a day.

Still you might think the best financial advice says don’t have children if you want to be “rich.”  It is just the opposite.

For $160.140 you get-------

Naming rights, first middle and last.

Giggles under the covers every night.

More love than your heart can hold.

Butterfly kisses and hugs

Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds and warm cookies.

A hand to hold, often covered with jam.

A partner for bubble blowing, kite flying, sand castle building and skipping in the rain.

Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed.

You never have to grow up.

You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide–and-seek, catch lightening bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disneyland, and wishing on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother’s Day and cards with backward letters for Father’s Day.

You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a ball team that never wins but always get treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first date, and first time behind the wheel.  You get to be immortal.

You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you’re lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.  You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications and human sexuality that no college can match.

You have all the power to heal a booboo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.